


I finally remembered you

by bella_bean_baby



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Cuddles, Drama, Drinking, Edd has a girlfriend, Edd is... very Edd, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forgiveness, Gay, Hair Pulling, Insomnia, Love Confessions, Love-Making, M/M, MMmmMmMm sMUT, Memory Loss, NSFW, Nightmares, OCs - Freeform, Passionate Sex, Praise Kink, Red Army, Red Leader, Scars, Sex, Smut, Tattoos, Tom is... very lonely, Tom needs love, Tord just needs a hug, Trans Edd, Vaginal Sex, Violence, future smut, love making, not for long though, sleep problems, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-24 13:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10742292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bella_bean_baby/pseuds/bella_bean_baby
Summary: Matt finds Tord years after "The End," and he needs answers.





	1. Plans demolished

**Author's Note:**

> -EDITED ORIGINAL LAST NAMES-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pat and Paul are gay  
> Tord is secretly sad and regretful  
> Tom is sad  
> Edd is sad  
> Matt is curious. And sad.

"WHAT?!" Patryk slammed his hands on the Red Leader's desk, an angry expression across on his face. A container of pencils fell over onto the organized desk, the only sound for the moment being the pencils rolling onto the floor. But only a few steps behind him was another solider, Paul. Patryk was one of the tallest on this team, and although he was rather lanky, he was fairly muscular. Unlike Paul, who was one of the shortest and had more body fat. Don't get the wrong idea though, Paul was very strong. He could easily beat up anyone on command despite this, breaking limps and overall giving major injuries; but never killing. Never. Patryk... Well, he was somewhat unpredictable. It almost gave a perilous in Paul's opinion, but in Tord's eyes he was the perfect solider.

Yes. The perfect solider indeed. What a go-getter. Talented when it comes to strength physically, and in the mind. A quick-thinking solider that could be rational under pressure was something that made a solider valuable. Though nobody was flawless. Pat had a temper, and was impatient with most things. He had the tendency to speak his mind and speak out when it wasn't appropriate. But his main, undeniable weakness was his partner, his lovely pilot. Paul. Without him, he wouldn't be here. Paul received these short, yet ruthless beatings because of Pat's wrong doing, and wouldn't defend himself. Who was dare talk back to the Red Leader? Only Patryk. Imagine the guilt of having your lover being brutally injured because of some stupid action you've done? And it made Paul terrified. But that's enough to say on the matter. 

The two had come in to ask about future plans, but were greeted by some not so great news. Instead of angry like Patryk though, Paul was silent, his hands Mostly out of fear. Last time he spoke out didn't end so well.

"I don't think I need to repeat myself." The Red Leader replied without looking affected by the other's anger. There was only a cold, expressionless look on his face. "I expect you want an explanation, no?"

Patryk's eyebrows furrowed in exasperation, fists clenching. "Yes I want an explanation, you can't do this! We've worked too hard-" The Red Leader stood up, making Paul flinch but Patryk not move a muscle. "Then why don't you shut the fuck up and let me speak, Dundelwit." He walked away from his desk and to the window in the room, pulling the shades open to look out at the base he had created. He held his hands behind his back. This man had burn scars on half of his body, and his arm replaced with a robotic one. His eye had been blinded by the blow from when he attempted to take over the world, so what did he do? Well he got an eye patch. It was useless to him anyway. Over his body, there were scars from other incidents too, and a Red Army tattoo forever imprinted on his arm. And now, after all these years, Tord was done.

"This army started with me, now it is ending with me. Our main objective failed. Money, time, and effort wasted. The giant robot is gone and many members of the army have left, while the rest have already lost hope. Some of my most valuable soldiers were wanted, found, and arrested. I am currently wanted. I am canceling the plans and projects, it is not worth continuing. Five years ago today the robot our team spent so long constructing was destroyed. And now I have started to believe the destruction of the robot was for a good reason." Tord's eye closes briefly, and he let out a silent sigh. Patryk on the other hand had wide eyes, looking back at Paul in disbelief. Paul only closed his eyes and tilts his head back down. 

Patryk took a step closer to his leader. "So it's over then. That's it. All of my fucking time here wasted, the classes, training, building and planning just-- Such wasted time! Where am I going to go now? What am I going to do with my life?! ... What are you going to do? They're going to come after you. The army will be outraged. Or what is left of it!" Tord still stood without being affected much, his eyes still staring at the projects being worked on at the base. "It almost sounds like regret in your tone. Regret... And guilt? What are you going soft on us 'Red Leader?' " When Patryk opened his mouth to say more, Paul placed a hand on his shoulder. "Pat, calm down alright? Let us just talk rationally, take a breather." He spoke in a quiet voice, though Patryk shook his head no and clenched his fists tightly. "Are you hearing yourself right now?! Paul it's OVER. All the work we've done, down the fucking drain! Don't you care?"

Tord gave a laugh, turning his body around so he could look at the two again. "Oh, he cares. He is just being significantly more smart than you about this situation. He knows his place, and that is under me. Referring to rank of course." Oh he knew just how to push Patryk's buttons. He gave a smirk and admired the way Patryk's eyebrow twitched in pure aggravation. What a sight.

"Wipe that smirk off your face!" Pat practically shouted, Tord's look now more stern and aggravated than amused. 

"That is no way to speak to your leader." 

"You're not my leader anymore."

"I am at the moment."

"No, we're leaving. Good fucking luck breaking the news to everyone else, and prepare for the turmoil and chaos you deserve."

Patryk was going to turn to leave until a gun was suddenly aimed at not him, but the man standing beside him. The Red Leader was pointing the gun directly at Paul. Paul for one immediately went pale, hands going up in both surrender and defense, while Patryk's expression went from enraged to terrified. "I said that's no way to speak to your leader. You two made a pledge to stay on this team until it ends. And it isn't over just yet." His eyes lock with Patryk's, as he pulled the trigger, but purposely shot the wall instead. But still, he was SO shooting Paul right in the head. Paul let out a heavy sigh, visibly shaking. Though he was still frozen in the position he was in. 

The gun was tucked away now, and the leader looked at Patryk fondly. "Anymore comments? Or are you going to start minding your own fucking business." The taller man's eyes were now staring at the ground, causing a smirk to form on Tord's face. He stepped over to Paul, who flinched slightly as Tord became closer. "... BOO." Paul flinches again, making the other let out a hardy laugh. "HAH! Such a disappointment. And you used to be one of my top soldiers. Get out of my office, you're both dismissed." Patryk was quick to make his way to the door, Paul following behind him. 

"And Dundelwit." Patryk stopped at the door, not bothering to look at Tord as he spoke. "Speak out of place again and I won't miss next time." He stood in silence for a brief moment before walking out the door, heading to the dormitory he shared with Paul and a few other members. Luckily the other residents of the room weren't there, so Patryk could rant all he wanted. Paul watched as the other tore a map off the wall and crumbled it up, throwing it in the trash can along with other documents.

"Hey... Maybe calm down a bit, you might regret tossing all of our work away you know." The shorter male said in a hushed tone, Patryk grunting in response. "What's the point. It was all for nothing. And we're stuck here until this whole operation-- this whole army shuts down. I'm so sick of this." His voice sounded angry of course, but almost broken and upset now. Ever since he joined the army he gradually became more and more different. Tending not to show any emotions that proved to be weak, while Paul did the exact opposite. But it's safe to say this has effected them both negatively. 

There was a silence in the room again, no sound besides the ripping and crumbling of paper. Instead of talking again or trying to calm the other, Paul simply sat back on one of the rolling chairs and spun himself around a few slow times until stopping to stare at the man he loved. He's blind in one eye from protecting the angry person in front of him. Well, after they got back from that incident he was scolded, cared for, then was given little affection because they had meetings and training and all that shit he hated. "When was the last time we kissed?" He thought aloud, his voice a mumble. The lean man continued what he was doing and gave a simple shrug in response. 

"I don't know Paul, a few days ago? Why does it matter?"

"Almost two weeks ago actually."

Patryk sighed and walked over to Paul was, a quick kiss planted on his lips. "There you are. Satisfied?"

"No." Paul looked unamused at the peck he was given, grabbing onto the other's wrist so he couldn't turn away. "We need to talk." Patryk gave a sigh. 

"About what? Kissing?" Patryk said sarcastically, but dropped the papers he had in his hands into the trash bin, then walking over to the bed to sit down. "I'm kidding. What's wrong?"

Paul came over to sit on the bed as well. "I think... This will be a good thing. The army coming to an end I mean." Patryk instantly shushed him, his eyes glancing at the doors. "Keep your voice down, someone might here you!" 

"They'll all know eventually Pat! Just listen okay? We're always either fighting for our lives, dealing with injuries or training until we're soaked with sweat and sore beyond belief. We never have time for anything; We never have time for us." Patryk looked down at the floor with an indescribable look on his face, but letting Paul go on. "I don't even think you remember this is a relationship and not just a partnership half the time, don't you want to do those couple things? Like dates and... Doga?"

"Doga?"

"Yoga with dogs." Paul laughed slightly, scratching the back of his head. This man has an unhealthy obsession with dogs, very unhealthy. "But this is really our chance to start over, have it be us not..." Paul gestures to the Red Army flag that was hung proudly in the room. "Us."

Patryk glances at the flag and gave a sigh, stripping off his blue coat so he was left in a red turtleneck. The coat was dropped to the floor and his arms stretched out for his boyfriend. With an excited grin he took off his coat as well and practically threw himself into Patryk's arms, knocking him back onto the bed so they could cuddle together. 

The taller male rubbed Paul's back with one hand and stares down at him. "We could move to New York City, in the U.S." Paul perked up at this, his chin resting on Pat's chest so he could look back at him.

"Oh yeah? What're we gonna do there?" 

Patryk gave a sweet smile. "Go see a musical or two, you used to talk about them all the time."

"Me? Hey, it wasn't just me you liked them too. Don't you remember? When I was first assigned as your co-piolet it was one of the first things we talked about."

"We had a lot in common. Or. Have rather."

"Big things and little things in common. Musicals, Conspiracy theories, dreams, sense of humor and dogs."

"You're obsessed with them, I only like dogs because they're warm and fuzzy like you. I especially love dogs with your eyebrows." Patryk gave a soft laugh as Paul looked offended at the other, his eyebrows furrowing. 

"Oh shut up. I'd rather get a cat than a dog that looks like me."

"Too bad, that's most certainly happening."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes~"

"Patryk I said no!"

"And I said yes." With a laugh, he rolled them over so he was on top of Paul, easily pinning him down. Grinning, he leaned down and gave his boyfriend a few kisses to his lips. "As long as we're still reminiscing, remember our old wrestling matches?"

Paul smirked up at him, bringing a knee up to his stomach to knock the wind out of him. "How could I forget, they'd always end in tounge wrestling. If you know what I mean." Patryk loosened his grip slightly as he tried to catch his breath, giving him the opprotunity to push him off. But instead of continuing the wrestling he scoots into his lap and pulled him into another kiss. 

The two boys kissed for a while, it becoming more heated as they went on. When they eventually pulled away they had a thin trail of saliva connectioning their lips, Paul's face heating up at the sight. "We haven't kissed like that in a while." Patryk said with a huff, but still smiling widely. 

Paul laughed, his forehead dropping to his lover's shoulder. "Finally you get it. It's like our relationship was on hold. I seriously thought you had forgotten about me- us." The French man took a hand and brought it to Paul's cheek, lifting his head back up so they were looking at eachother again. 

"I don't want you to feel that way ever again... I won't ever forget about you, I love you Paul." A kiss was pressed to Paul's cheek, making him grin graciously. "I love you too, Pat..."

They spent the night together after that, just holding eachother and talking amongst themselves. Something they haven't done in literal years... They couldn't get enough of eachother.

 

Meanwhile.

"Do you think he's okay?" Matt spoke up randomly in the silence. The two other boys at the breakfast table looked at eachother with an eyebrow raised. "Uh... Who?" Tom said after a bite of burnt toast. They had moved back into a house together instead of the apartments, the apartments were so small... and unwelcoming. And though Tom wouldn't admit it, he missed living with these goofballs. Matt and Edd on the other two hand were easy to say they missed this. It was like separating a family.

Matt frowned and looked down at his bowl of cereal. "Tord. Do you think he's okay? Or alive?" Tom looked upset now, turning his head away. Edd looked at them both sadly and sighed. "We don't know Matt, we've hadn't this conversation before. It's been five years... I think it's just time to forget about it." 

The ginger shook his head no and rested his head on his hand, elbow on the table. "I can't. I can't forget someone I can hardly remember it's been eating me alive! That memory eraser ray... The only memory I have is that day Todd-" "Tord." Edd corrected. "Tord came back and messed up my beautiful face and our house, and a weird memory of Tord leaving. He had such a... a..." 

"A wistful look, I know Matt. God I feel like you say this every year." Tom muttered with an eyeroll, Matt pouting slightly and crossing his arms. "It's because for some reason, every year on this day I think about it! I can't help it, it's weird."

"You're weird. Let's just have a normal day today, no Tord and absolutely no reminiscing or flashbacks." Edd said sternly to Matt, bringing his plate to the empty sink. "Aw, but I love flashbacks. It reminds me of that time I had a flashback.."

~~ Flaaaaassssshhbaaa-

"I said no flashbacks!"

"Oh shucksbusters fine."

Edd finished washing his dishes, drying his hands on a small towel near the sink. "I have to go, Bea wanted me to go for one of her morning jogs with her."

Tom laughed. "Morning jogs? You're not a morning person. Or an exercise person." 

"Rude. I'm trying it, who knows maybe I'll like it." Edd head to the door and gave a small wave. "I'll talk to you guys later. See ya."

"Bye Edd!"  
"Later."

Matt and Tom said, until they realized he was going out for a jog in khakis and a thick hoodie.


	2. Memories forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Tom reminisce on the good ol days, and bond  
> It's super cute  
> And sad  
> Very sad

Once Edd left there was a silence between the two. Matt's eyes were focused into his bowl of cereal while Tom just sipped his coffee and read "Ska Weekly." It was like this for a while until Matt decided to speak up.

"He seemed like a cool guy, he said he liked my novelty toy collection you know!"

"Did he now." Tom said, hardly paying attention. 

"Yeah! I think so. Hm." 

 

Then Matt got an idea. He scooted closer to where Tom was sitting. Then closer. And closer. And closer. So close that their shoulders touched and Matt was able to see the newspaper Tom was reading. 

"Tom?"

"Matt."

"We had fun times with him before that happened right? He can't be as bad as you make him out to be." 

"Edd said not to talk about this Matt."

"Yeah I know but he's not here! Were you two close?"

"Matt shut up." 

"How long have we known eachother? Gosh I can hardly remember highschool."

"Matt! We're not talking about this, Edd said!"

"Yeah yeah yeah I know but I'm just curious is all-"

"If you're so curious then how about you look at the hundreds of scrapbooks you made, and stop bothering me! I don't want to talk about this!" With that, Tom was gone to his room with his coffee and newspaper left on the table. His bedroom door slammed shut. 

"Scrapbook?" The ginger looked confused, hardly affected by Tom's outburst. This happens a lot. Matt got up from his seat after a moment of silence and left to his room; the attic. There wasn't much in here anymore, well compared to how awfully messy it was before. There was a lot of junk but somehow it felt empty. Or rather Matt felt empty. He didn't see any difference.

Most of his things were gone from the old house being blown up... A rocket was launched at Eduardo, Jon, and Mark's place too. They just so happened to move in right next door to their new home. It was as if nothing changed. But of course everything was. 

There was always a feeling of endangerment, if Tord was still out there, did he want revenge? Or was he dead? Matt doesn't know how Tom truly felt about the situation really, but what he does know is that the fact that he might have killed someone with a harpoon keeps him up at night. Well, that's what Edd told him. 

Jon was a ghost now, he and Eduardo have grown closer. Eduardo stated himself "You never know what you have until it's gone." And now, he treats Jon like a prince! Though it's still very sad, Eduardo still can't touch him in any way. And ghosts don't need to eat or sleep and they don't age or get hurt. It must be hard to accept that. Despite this Mark and Eduardo continue on their everyday lives, Mark pretending like nothing happened while Eduardo TRIES. He just tries. Matt may not be the smartest, but he could tell he is hurting.

This is getting off topic now though. Matt was looking around through his piles of stuff. "Medication I never use but should, nope. Broken sword lady mirror, absolutely not. Green sock?" Matt sniffs the sock, then throws it behind his head. "Nope, radioactive. Little Tom, yes! I've been looking for you little buddy! Haha! I mean wait no. What was I looking for again?" Matt stood there with a blank mind. "Oh wait- Yes the scrapbooks."

Matt's room was torn apart now, until under his bed he FINALLY found them all in a large box. He took out the first one on top, it seemed like the oldest. Flipping through the pages he realized this was all photos from highschool. There was a photo of Matt, Tord, and Edd standing in front of highschool with their graduation caps and robes. Matt laughed at the next photo Tom accidentally took while setting up the camera. The next photo had Tom finally in the photo with them all. Matt's arm was around Tord's shoulders. "We all looked so happy back then." Matt said quietly to himself.

It took him a minute to realize Tom was taking most of these photos. Wasn't he into photography and filmmaking in highschool? What happened to that? He was going to make a movie with his own music, and they were going to star in it- Wait they've done this. Space cats! 

There were photographs of Matt in this school play. "I was in a play? I was probably the star!" Matt looked closely at the picture to see Tord was in the play too, not looking all that happy. Was he... This was the musical Grease. And by the looks of it, Matt was Danny and Tord was Sandy. Matt laughed again. 

"You forced him to try out with you for the play." Matt turned around to see Tom standing at the door. "He jokingly tried out for the part of Sandy, but miraculously got it. ... I don't understand how a norski's singing voice could ever sound that good."

"Why didn't he isn't drop out then? They have understudies!"

Tom walked over to sit on the ground next to Matt. "Because you were so excited you both got the part and he didn't want to let you down. He'd rather suffer through a whole musical, learn the parts, anything than see you upset." Tom laughed weakly. "It's so... Unreal now."

Tom flipped through a few pages, reaching a photo Tom took with his phone. It was a picture of Tom, Edd and Tord sitting on bleechers.

"Hey, where am I in this picture? Are you guys at a football game?"

"We were at your football game... Jeez Matt. Do you not remember you were on the football team?"

Matt laughed. "Me? Play football? You've got to be joking!"

Tom shook his head with a chuckle. "You played football but you weren't a jock. At all. In fact you used to get picked on by the other members of the team."

"Why?"

"... It's a long story. I don't feel like telling it."

Matt bats his eyes at Tom with a sweet smile. "Please?"

"If it'll get you to stop making that awful face, then fine." Tom tilts his head back and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. "We used to have this thing on every Friday when we both had nothing to do."

"We as in who?"

"You and me. I'd talk about my problems, you'd talk about yours, and we would... Ahem, paint eachothers nails. Then we'd talk shit about the assholes in our school and watch terrible movies until the sun comes up."

"Aw! That sounds so sweet! What's wrong with that?" Tom couldn't help but smile at that. "You actually wore the nail polish to school, I took off the nail polish before Monday came. You have no shame."

"But why'd I get picked on?"

"People picked on you all year, because of the nail polish and well. Because you're you. Kind of girly. And you didn't really even try to fit in at all. Until Tord pulled a gun on them one day when he caught them pushing you against a wall in the back of the school. I guess it was after football practice and he was coming to pick you up. They calling you a faggot and a femboy which really pissed the guy off even more. He got suspended for threatening them, but our shitty school didn't really pay any mind to it.... It's funny, you once told me this story and now I'm retelling it to you."

"He did that?" The ginger looked back down at the picture. "... Wow." Matt had a sweet smile, flipping through photos that Tom would explain to him until finally coming to the end of that scrapbook. They did this with all the scrapbooks in the box. 

At some point Tom ended up just talking about Matt and Tord. Easily being able to go on about them.

"Tord helped you figure out how to do taxes you know. He usually figured out all that for us since we're all stupid."

"So that's why I do all that nasty work! Why can't you two do it?"

"I just said we're too stupid, and Edd already does housework so."

"You both aren't not stupid, maybe Edd has an excuse but you don't!"

Tom shrugged. "Tord taught you how to do taxes and a few other things a week before he left... And before that helped you with your first college application. And went with you for your first job interview. You could bring someone who could speak on your behalf, or vouch for you, something like that. And you chose Tord." 

Matt blinks slowly at all this. He brought Tord? He thought his first option would be Edd... A frown now stretched across his lips. How could someone so kind try and take over the world? 

"You asked if me and Tord were close before. We weren't. You two were." Tom pats the taller man on the back, standing up to leave. 

Matt just stared at the photos... Them all at amusement parks, aquariums, at the beach, and the one specifically of Tord and Matt out at dinner, celebrating Matt getting the job. Before Tom could make it out the door Matt stood up and practically leaped at him, hugging him from behind. "Thank you Tom- Just thank you so much... How could I have forgotten all of this I-I just-" 

Tom turned himself around to properly hug the taller one back. "You're welcome, you deserves to know. And I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier."

"I'm sorry for bugging you, I bug you a lot."

"It's who you are. A bothersome child."

Matt scoffed. "A bothersome grown ass man." 

Tom laughed and pulled away from the hug, his hands on Matt's arms. There was a smile on his face. "Yeah whatever, tell yourself whatever you want." 

"... Do you want to maybe, hang out Friday?" Tom blinked at that, then released Matt's arms, turning to the door but stopping halfway out. "... Eight o'clock Friday you better not forget." 

The other male perked up at this. "I won't!" 

It was silent again. Matt walked back to the scrapbooks, and realized they hadn't gone through one of them. It seemed normal, newer looking photos... Sone movie ticket stubs... An Edd Sheeran ticket? "I went to Edd Sheeran?!" Matt said excitedly, him being Matt's favorite artist. The next few pictures show Matt went with Tord. Tord didn't seem like he'd be into that kind of music. Or just music in general. "Tord went because I wanted to go so bad... He bought the tickets for my birthday." He said to himself, his voice not above a whisper. Was it all starting to come back? 

The last picture in the scrapbook was one Matt took himself with his phone. It was of Edd, Matt and Tord right before he left. Tom was too busy stuffing his luggage in the trunk. In the photo there was a sad smile on Matt's lips and some tears. The rest of the scrapbook was empty. 

Matt didn't know when he started crying.


	3. Why didn't you tell me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord left the army...  
> People will be after him.
> 
> Matt had an eye-opening dream.

Tord scheduled a meeting a month after the encounter with his soldiers. 

"Thank you all for attending. I would like to discuss my reasoning for demolishing projects and lack of commands over the last few weeks." Tord started, standing up from the chair he was in. The eyes of his army stare at him, awaiting his explanation. The Red Leader only felt fear, but his face was stoic and emotionless.

"I am disbanding the army. I think it's best for our financial situation, and the fact our plan; our goal wasn't achievable becau-"

Patryk interrupted. "Because of you! You're the reason why, you hold us back!"

This caused everyone in the room to start and talk, most agreeing. The once silent room was loud. Some people stood up, yelling at their former leader for answers to their questions and accusations.

"You promised we'd recreate this world for the better!"

"ANARCY! ANARCY!"

"We never avenged those who died under your command, people sacrificed their lives on missions!"

"You can't disban the group if we overrule you!"

"YOU KILLED MY BROTHER FOR BEING A TRAITOR, NOW I'LL BE THE ONE TO KILL YOU! YOU BETRAYED US!"

He was petrified.

No emotion shown.

The Leader slammed his robotic hand on the table, causing a loudness BANG! This made people look at him due to fear, now quieter. 

"SILENCE. None of you have any right to speak against my orders, and I ORDER you all to pack the fuck up and move on with your lives while I move on with mine. It is over. I don't want to hear another word about it. We don't have the finances, that was all spent on the giant robot. We have lost followers, soldiers, and sponsors because of our failure. You are all intelligent and strong human beings, that is why you were on my team. Let us better ourselves. Thank you for your cooperation, not just the soliders who fought. The scientists and doctors, those who made weapons and helped with planning and tactics. With that, I say goodbye." 

The room was silent, the only sound being Tord's heeled boots against the floor and the creaking sound of the door opening. Two body guards followed. 

The minute he left he could hear the yelling and arguing return. He knew people would be after him. It was only fate.

The body guards helped place his luggage in the trunk, and just like that Tord was gone. Where was he going? To Norway of course. Stay there until he's been spotted or found. And after that he will probably go to the United States of America, since it was even further away. 

Passports were easy to fake, Tord had one already made. He just had to drive to the airport. 

 

The next few weeks were actually pretty good for Matt.

Edd would be out with his girlfriend a lot, and that left Matt and Tom to spend more time together. They started having Friday's together, and talking about Tord casually. There was no hesitance or sadness like before, because they talked about the good things rather than the bad.

"Honey I'm home!" Edd said jokingly as he came through the door. He was wearing a shirt sleeved Aviator shirt with a black tie and black pants. 

Matt looked up at Edd from where he was on the couch. "Well howdy there, how was the date?" 

"It was great! Me and Bea tried out a new seafood restaurant tonight."

Tom scoffed and crossed his arms. "You hate seafood."

Edd untied his tie, giving a shrug. "It wasn't my favorite but at least she liked it. It's not about the food anyway. It's about the fish puns! Bea was aggravated though I can't SEA why she had a problem with them!"

Matt piped in on the puns. "COD that wasn't bad, EELY bad!"

"I wonder how long this THREAD will last!"

"I don't know, we're really KRILLING IT."

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh my god."

"We're not doing it on porpoise!" Edd added, laughing along with Matt.

Tom rolled his black eyes and looked at Edd while he struggled to untie his tie. He's lost weight for sure. "Have you been working out?"

The taller male looked down at himself and attempted to flex his muscles. "Yes actually!"

"No way."

"Yes way! I got a gym membership last week!"

"Why." Tom practically growled in annoyance, Matt giving a sigh. Here we go again.

"Because Bea said that I should, I've been fat my whole life, I'm gonna try and change for the better!" Edd pats his stomach with a soft laugh. 

"Good for y-!" Matt started but was interrupted by Tom. 

"You're not fat you're chubby! And that's completely fine. She's just putting thoughts in your head, that manipulative little skank." 

Matt's jaw dropped. Oh shit.

"Hey! Don't talk that way about her, you hardly know her! ... Do you still think I'm that chubby though?"

"WHO THE FUCK CARES?! You never cared about your appearance or about what people thought of you before in your life, she's changing you."

Edd rolled his eyes and walked towards the bathroom. "Whatever Tom, thanks for the support. I'm going to take a shower." He shut the bathroom door. Tom sulked.

A hand pats Tom's hair. It was Matt's. "There there. Maybe you should just be happy for him..." 

Tom brushed off Matt's hand, shaking his head. "I won't."

"Well... I'm going to bed. Think about it alright? Edd hasn't had a significant other in a long time, he's finally happy. If he was in your position he'd keep his mouth shut and support you. I don't like her that much either but... You know. He's experimenting."

Matt stood up and walked upstairs, leaving Tom in the dark of the living room alone. The black eyed man grabbed a flask out of his pocket and took a swig, his nose scrunching at the taste. It was warm and bad tasting, but he drinks away anyway. 

Matt on the other hand spent over an hour trying to get to sleep. What was on his mind you ask? Tord. And he didn't know why. This month he's learned so much, they were good friends. They were all good friends, even if Tom didn't ever to admit they were. 

During the course of the night Matt kept dozing off... Then waking up minutes later. Over and over again. Until at one point he finally fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt's eyes were filled with tears. "After all this time, you're just going to leave us? So suddenly?! You didn't ever tell me--"

"I know, I know my love I am sorry for that. But you have to understand my future is very important I don't want to be here forever--"

"More important than us? More important than... me?"

"No! No trust me you are min verden- mitt univers-" 

"Then take me with you!"

"... I wish it was that easy. You have a life here, a job, great friends and family who would miss you..."

"We can try a long distance relationship!"

"Those never work out, I do not want to to waste your time with me. You deserve a person, not someone you can only see and hear on a screen."

"But... I'll miss you, we've been todether for years and you're just throwing it away for stupid reasons!"

"Do not end this on a bad note my love, please. Do not cry because of me." 

Tears had already began streaming down Matt's cheeks, Tord wiped them away with his thumb. "How about we take a final picture together, yeah? Show me that pretty smile of yours."

Matt smiled weakly, taking his phone out and held it up. Edd came over to photobomb it, but was pulled closer by Tord so he could actually get in it, rather than just behind. Once the photo was taken, a gun was placed in Matt's hand. A memory eraser gun. 

"Can you hold this for me, I have to get some more luggage from inside."

"Sure..."

When Tord came back out, he placed the last suitcase into the back of his car. 

"Well time for me to go."

"We'll never forget you Tord... You or your memory eraser gun, so many memories."

Edd frowned. "I can't believe Tord is leaving..."

Matt let out a sad hiccup, starting to cry harder now. Tord bit his lip, shoving his hand in his pocket to activate the memory eraser gun Matt held. The sobbing stopped. Nobody seemed to notice. 

"Yes Edd... I have to follow me dream. And make it in the big city."

Tom grabbed the memory eraser gun from Matt to shove in the trunk with such happiness. "Fine by me!" 

Matt blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side. "... W-Who am I?" 

"Goodbye, old friends."

"I'm... Not your friend."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt woke up abruptly, eyes widened and tears in his eyes. 

That day Tord came back he acted like nothing happened.

Asking "You really don't remember...?" as if he didn't know.

Matt was outraged, upset, regretful-- 

More memories swept through his mind, flashing across his eyes. It gave him such a headache, he gripped his hair and squeezed his eyes shut. They went to prom together, went on countless dates, told eachother things they wouldn't ever tell anyone else... Well apparently not everything.

They were at the point in their relationship where they were ready to take it a step further, engagement. After so many years of being together they were ready for that. They talked about it.

Jumping out of bed, the ginger slipped on his shoes and ran downstairs where Tom was still awake. Even though it 4 am. 

"Matt where the fuck are you going? Do you know what time it is?"

"Why didn't you tell me we were together?! For so long- I forgot ALL of it! ALL OF IT!"

Tom didn't have a response, left speechless. Matt grunts and ran outside, slamming the door.

Hearing the noise, Edd came from his room and looked at Tom then at the door. "Matt?! What's going on?"

Tom sighed.

 

Matt didn't know where he was going, but he kept running. He ran out the neighborhood, down the streets, he just kept running. Until something caught his eye. A red car. The license plate that read, "N0r5k1." Matt gasped and ran after it. 

 

Tord rubbed his eyes. "Almost the the airport." He whispered, stopping at a red light. Suddenly he heard someone call his name. Are they after him already?! Looking in the rearview mirror he saw a man running in his pajamas, who looked rather ridiculous. 

He laughed until realizing who it was.

The light was green, so he started to drive thinking Matt couldn't catch up. Damn those long legs. 

Matt ran in front of his car, surprising Tord and making his eyes widen. He slammed his breaks, causing people behind him to beep the horn and drive past him.

They made eye contact. Matt both sweating from running and crying silently. His panting was shakey. Time to face the music. Swallowing thickly, Tord pulled over with his window rolled down.


	4. Feelings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the title of the chapter, that is the summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: vERY SAD AND VERY --- MUCH FEELINGS.

They made eye contact. Matt both sweating from running and crying silently. His panting was shakey. Time to face the music. Tord pulled over due to the sound of cars honking at him and rolled down his windows.

 

"What the hell are you doing?! Do not just in front of cars I could have ran you over you idiot!" Tord yelled, and tried not to ask if he was alright. I mean what was he doing on he streets in pajamas at this hour? Did he get kicked out? Was he lost? And why was he running, was he trying to get somewhere? Many questions. 

Matt paused and caught his breath, giving Tord the most angered expression he could conjure up. "Get out... Of the car."

"What?" This was ridiculous, he had a flight to catch soon. Matt opened his car door himself. "Get out of the car or I promise you'll regret ever attempting to kill Tom and demolishing our home, get OUT of the car!" Tord blinked slowly, expressionless. Sure he was surprised at the other's tone, it was certainly unlike him. But he felt more curious than threatened. What could he possibly want with him? Revenge? Ha, good luck with that. He unbuckled himself.

"You've got five minutes." Tord said flatly after stepping out of the car, hands in his coat pockets. 

"That's all I need." And surprisingly, Matt actually swung a quick punch at Tord! Now that was unexpected! Matt almost never resulted to violence like this. Immediately The Red Leader caught his hand in mid air so he as unsuccessful. "Is this what you're trying to do here?" Tord gave an unamused, weak laugh. 

Matt didn't respond, and instead swung another punch. Of course Tord caught with the other hand. His robotic hand. The grip of the metal hand tightened it's grip, causing Matt to hiss, so what did he do? He kicked Tord.... Right in the balls. Tord released a funny-sounding noise that sounded like a squeak and let go of Matt's hands to cover his privates. This gave the ginger the opportunity to attack. Wow. He gave Tord an upper cut, right up the jaw. With enough force a punch could break Tord's teeth. Fortunately for Tord the only damage done was that he harshly bit his tongue. Ouch. 

Before Matt could attack any more, Tord was quick to shove Matt hard against the ground, cheek against the sidewalk with ease. 

"What the fuck do you want from me?! Do you really think you can win here?!"

"N-- No."

"Then what are you trying to accomplish-- What do you want?!"

Matt voice practically went hoarse, his heart beating out of his chest. There was a bead of nervous sweat down the side of his face and let out a dry sob. No tears, just uncontrollable noise. "I want-- I want-"

"What?!"

"You!"

It was silent besides the soft sound of Matt's sobs, and the sound of cars driving by. Hearing this made something inside Tord snap. Like something was broke... Or maybe something was fixed? The emotionless expression Tord once had was replaced to one of, dare I say, concern? Or pity? ... Regret? He released Matt and stood up. "I do not have time for your nonesense. Leave me be, and do not tell anyone you saw me here or there will be hell to pay." He said in a hushed tone, a tone all too familiar. 

Matt watched the other get up off him, wiping off his cheek before standing up himself. "No! You can't- You... You!" There was no good way he could express himself in this situation. There was anger, and sadness, and fear. He wanted to punch Tord, kiss him, and neither all at the same time. Well he already punched him, so he could either kiss him or not do anything. Hm.

The robotic hand belonging to Tord was grabbed, tugging him backwards before he could get into the car. Before Tord could ask Matt what he was doing a pair of incredibly soft lips met his own torn and chapped ones. God, he never thought of how horrible it must be to kiss him. Such roughness seemed unbearable, but by the way Matt was acting... It was like he couldn't got enough. He'll never be the fantastic kisser he used to be. Who he used to be. Who was he before this? He was a stupid teenager obsessed with hentai and science. Obsessed with power and firearms. And violence, not just in videogames. Real violence. Fighting, combat, shooting... He was in a long term relationship. With who? Some bitch he met on Tinder? Not at all. The complete opposite really. Matthew Heartvy. Matt. ... His Matt. And now, his own ex lovers lips were against his own. And boy did he LOVE it... He never knew how much he missed this. How long has it been since he's had someone like this? So close. Tord doesn't like to think about it. 

After erasing his memory intentionally, he forced himself to forget and move on. That was most difficult. At first everything reminded him of the goofball, everything from a damn mirror to the loveliest shade of purple; Matt's favorite shade. A nice grayish violet color. For a while... Tord actually succeeded in forgetting. Having such a familiar pair of lips that he used to crave back made him crave it again. That specific cologne Matt always wore to drive Tord crazy was driving him crazy again. This hit him all at once, all this emotion. Do you know how long it's been since he felt this strongly? Too long. Much too long. 

When Matt pulled away, his eyes were glazed with hot tears, his face flushed a rosey shade of red. Tord wasn't done with him yet though. He hasn't had his fill. Forcefully, Tord pulled Matt down into a more heated kiss, their lips moving in the same rhythm it used to have. And old routine coming back.

As for Matt, this just triggered more heart wrenching memories. He remembers getting into petty fights with Tord, them always ending with a kiss from Matt; Matt always winning in the end. Tord's excuse would be "I just didn't want to hear you whine anymore." But they both knew damn well he was in it for the kisses. 

Matt remembers doing silly things like trying to kiss underwater and kissing in the rain, spending stormy nights in each other's arms. Matt never liked thunder and lightening. He understood why they occurred and all that, but just the booming noises... The bright streaks of light across the sky... And the lights in his bedroom flickering on and off. He remembers staying up late with his lover, unable to sleep. 

He remembers more.

 

The second time they pulled away they needed air. Neither knew how long they had been kissing for. Matt's hands had been resting on his shoulder's while Tord still had a firm grip on his pajama shirt. The two made unspoken eye contact until Matt got a push back. "What are you doing?!"

"What are YOU doing-- NO what did you do?"

"I did not do anything you fucking psycho! Stop doing this to me god DAMN it!-- I have to go, go home. You are completely out of your mind." Tord quickly turned around to reopen his car door, but Matt took his hand. "I- I-I know what you did." Tord swallowed thickly hearing Matt say this, but played dumb and gave him an unamused look. "I do not know what you're talking about. And I still don't know what you want with me." Matt wasn't sure how to put this. Maybe he was crazy, maybe it was just a weird dream-- Maybe he's hallucinating! No... That can't be true. "The memory eraser gun, before you left us the first time." Is all Matt said, his eyes fluttering shut. Tord repeated in his mind: Stay strong. Don't give in. Stay strong. Don't give in to this... You're better than this.

"That was a long time ago." Tord said flatly. "So, you attempt to beat me up then kiss me? How would that solve anything?" Matt didn't have an answer. He stood in silence. "Right. You need to just. Just get over it." Taking in a long breath of air, Tord slipped his hand out from Matt's and took a step back to keep his distance.

"Why... Why are acting like it never happened? I-I mean you kissed me back and-" Here come the water works again, how Tord hated it. He hated this. He just needs to stay strong. Don't give in. ... No matter how much he wanted to-

"You just don't remember the real me. You do not know me." 

"This isn't the real you. I do know you."

"Maybe you did. A long time ago."

"It feels like only yesterday-"

"Stop." Tord said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Don't. Just don't. You are making this harder than it has to be."

"Why can't you just tell me why stop being so mysterious I haven't seen you in years, I haven't seen the real you yet."

"Yes you have please stop doing this." Tord has resulted to begging, covering his face with his hand. What was this- Was he crying...? No. He won't.

"I need you." Matt let tears run down his cheeks, a soft hiccup escaping him. "But y-you're tearing me apart."

"Stop-

"I miss you, l-let me back in please Tord-"

"I have to go." Yet instead of leaving Tord kept his hand on the car door, then just let his body slump against it. He was sobbing, hard. Uncontrollably. What has he done. They were so happy, it was perfect. His need for power was placed above someone he once actually was in love with. Matt took a cautious step forward to Tord and placed a gentle hand on his back. Tord lifted his head, revealing a reddened face, eyes shined with tears and cheeks completely soaked. 

He isn't strong enough, he gave in. Tord flings himself into Matt's arms and let himself cry into his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is short,,,,


	5. I'm so sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies
> 
> I apologize if this is a short chapter!

Tord kept himself there, not moving a muscle. Just letting himself cry on Matt and accepting the affection he was given. It felt so good to have someone to kiss and hold... Someone to cry to. But he knew if anyone that was in the army were to see him now, they'd call him pathetic. That's what he was, pathetic. Not strong enough. Resulting to tears like this... Even with Matt, he tried to be stone cold. Matt was the emotional one. Not Tord. How odd. 

"Focus on your breathing, everything will be alright. I'm here..." Tord heard a soft voice say. So he did just that. Since when did he follow orders? He gives them. Well. Used to. It's going to be hard to get used to that. What was he saying? He can't get used to this, he won't subject himself to feeling this way. Feelings don't matter. All that mattered was living. 

Focusing on his own breathing actually distracted himself from crying, there were no more tears. It actually helped. There was only light breathing and the soothing humming coming from Matt. "Feelings do matter." Matt murmurs. "You can't truly live if you don't feel." Had he been speaking aloud during his little scene? God how embarrassing. But not surprising. Talking to himself had become a norm. Whenever he was working or writing, he always caught himself doing so. Was this habit due to... Loneliness? 

Instead of giving an answer Tord simply nuzzled his head against Matt's chest and just relaxed in larger protective arms. He didn't want to let go. It took him a while before attempting to speak, though his voice was strained. "You're right. I am... I am so sorry min kjærlighet jeg er så lei meg--" He slipped into his native language when feeling himself about to cry more, holding them back the best he could. Matt shushes him, a hand coming up to pet his hair. He loved that, it relaxed him. Did Matt remember how much Tord loved that? ... How much did he remember?

"I know you aren't it's okay..."

"It is NOT okay?! How could I do this to myself- To you. I can not ever make it up to you fully, I'm just so so sorry."

"You can make it up to me by... Coming with me."

"... Where to?"

"My place... Our place. Please come home Tord, please-"

Tord interrupted, automatically lifting his head up from Matt's chest. "You have to be kidding. Go back there? I can not be in the same apartment as Tom and Edd I can't handle that right now."

"Well... We got another house, we live together again."

"That makes the situation even worse, Matt."

"Oh right yes of course. You can just sneak into my room and stay there!"

"I am not staying locked in your room all day. It is incredibly messy, and I'm not some random animal you'd bring home from the streets. ... Well. Okay. Maybe in a way I am. But I am still not staying couped up in a room all day they will find me eventually." 

"Then just stay the night! Then we'll figure it out."

"The night is practically over, darling." The nicknames came so naturally to him. Matt smiled at the use of the pet names. That smile. "This will not work out... And you know it. We can not deny it. I think it is best that you just let me go. You have gotten your closure, no?"

Matt shook his head no. "No, I can't. I still don't have any questions answers."

"Then ask."

"Hey you're putting me on the spot! Don't you have a flight to catch?"

"A... Flight?" The flight. Tord got off Matt and checked his watch. "I can still make it. Fuck- I can not just leave you here... Do you want a ride home?"

"... Okay."

With some sadness, Tord opened the car door for Matt to let him in and got in the other side. They buckled in and Tord started the car, and after getting directions from Matt, he was on their way. 

Matt looked around the car some seats were ripped, gun power and bullets lay on the floor of the car. And in the back there was a few fire arms under an old blanket, and even a grenade on the floor. It was concerning to say the least. But Matt didn't comment, the only thing he did was place his hand softly on top of Tord's that rested on the stick shift. 

It wasn't a long drive. They got there faster than Matt wanted. It had even started to lightly rain. Car drives in the rain were his favorite. The ride itself was silent, no music or talking. They were both thinking, probably about the same things. But they kept their thoughts to themselves.

Tord stopped in front of the home and glanced over at Matt, a sad look in his eye. The ginger slipped off the eyepatch he wore to look into both of his eyes, though one was blind. And ever so gently he leaned back in to give him a final kiss. It was soft, and just long enough to satisfy them both. 

When the kiss subsided Matt already turned to walk out the car, and heading to the house without a formal goodbye. They both shared one final look before Tord started to drive off, and Matt went inside the house. 

Edd was awake on the couch waiting for him, Tom had fallen asleep. "Where did you go we were so worried!" Hearing Edd's voice, Tom quickly sat up awake as well. Matt opened his mouth to speak, but felt tears well up in his eyes. In front of both boys the taller of the two started to break down into tears.


	6. A replacement.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd and Tom are gonna help Matt...

Tom and Edd watches in amazement as Matt started to break down so suddenly. Breaking down as in gripping his clothes, his body leaning forward. His body reacted with shaking, tears pouring from his eyes and his face red and practically radiating heat. The sight was just. Awful. And unbelievable. 

Inside, Matt was just so, so very conflicted. It was hard, being in this situation. He just let Tord get away for the third time in his life, and the third time is usually the kicker. He'd gone. Tord is really gone. Matt literally found the love of his life who he had forgotten about for years, as watched him drive away to the airport. He won't be back. Not this time, not after all he's done. All he's done... That bastard, he's done so much wrong. He's a terrible person. God, he hated Tord for everything, but at the same time nothing. He wanted to change the past so they could all have a good future. 

 

Edd was first to take a cautious few steps toward the sobbing ginger, ever so gently taking his hands so they weren't gripping his clothes, but instead, gripping Edd. Matt let himself lean his body weight against the shorter male, his face buried in the others shoulder. Edd didn't seem to care one bit, and simply processed to rub his friend's back. He whispered soft and soothing words at the sound of Matt's whimpers and cries.

 

 

It's been approximately 3 months since this has happened.

Tom and Matt continued their Friday's together, Edd was still with Beatrice, but Tord wasn't spoken of. And his scrapbooks were slid back under his bed hidden because Edd had suggested him to. Out of sight out of mind right? Of course not. 

Matt has been down, no doubt about that. Very down. Not much cracking jokes or dumb smiles. And it just didn't sound like Matt anymore. For a while the ginger couldn't even look at himself in the mirror. Because he just looked miserable, sleep deprived... N o t M a t t .

So obviously, Tom and Edd stepped in. 

"Hey Matt!" Edd said with a sad smile, trying to sound chipper. He got a hum of a response from Matt and a short handwave. He was currently sitting on the couch with a book, Edd and Tom looking at him from behind the couch. 

"Sooo... Me and Tom were talking and guess what we did?"

"What'd you do?"

"We signed you up for a dating website! Yaaaay!" 

Matt looked at him with such a cold, unamused look. Edd gave a nervous laugh, until Tom handed Matt the laptop he had in his hands. "Give it a try, it won't hurt to try." Tom said in an actual gentle tone, but looked stern.

Opening the laptop, Matt saw the profile the boys made. Wow. They were pretty accurate here. 

Already Matt had many people interested in him most likely because of his looks. The picture they used for his profile picture was a professionally taken picture, and a pretty good one.

And with that, it started.

 

DATING MONTAGE! 

 

A blonde girl sat in front of Matt, her hair back in a pony tail. 

"So, are you into sports?"

"Not really."

"We should go for a run date next time!"

"No."

"Well fine. It's like you're not interested at all."

"I'm not. Sorry you seem like a nice girl." 

"Ugh. Apparently not nice enough for you."

\---------------------

There was a gothic boy in front of him, slumping.

"And then they told me to clean my room. It's like, can't you see I'm doing something?!"

"Uh huh... How old are you again?"

"15."

\---------------------

The girl in front of him was on her phone, texting away. When Matt tried to talk she stuck a finger up to shush him. Finally when she was done she looked Matt up and down.

"You're hot."

"I know."

"Want to hook up?" She winks.

Matt groaned and slammed his forehead on the table. 

\---------------------

"Opinionth on beeth?"

Matt looked at the man in front of him. They were at a diner, and the guy had a STRONG lisp. "Opinions on what?" 

"Ahem. Beeth."

"Beeth?"

"Bee-thhh... th... pbthhh..."

Matt chuckled, but when he did, the man with red and blue colored glasses stood up angrily and walked out. He slumped in his seat. 

\---------------------

A homeless man with a blood stained trench coat came in and sat BESIDE Matt. Uncomfortable, the ginger let out a squeak and covered his face. "Oh my god."

"ELLO! Would you like to see my rat puppets??"

Edd and Tom watched from the other table, their menus falling down to reveal their faces. Edd was wearing a set grouncho glasses while Tom made no effort to make a disguise. 

"Well... That was a fail." Tom said flatly, taking a sip of the champagne he ordered. 

"No not yet! There's one more person."

 

The next day Matt went into a cafe, sitting at one of the tables for two waiting for his date. A male walked over to Matt. "Hey, are you Matt?"

Matt gave a nod and the male sat down. "My name is Daniel, nice to meet you."

"Mmhm."

"Um... So, have you ever been here before?"

With Tord. "No." He lied, supporting his head up with his hand, elbow on the table. 

"Well it seems lovely. You don't seem like you want to be here though my friend."

"I don't." Matt sighs.

"Then why are you here?"

"My friends want me to try dating again."

"Oh? Whys that?"

Matt sighed again and sat up just a little straighter. "It's a long story, you don't want to hear it."

Daniel smiles. "Heh... I have time." He shifted, getting more comfortable. "Now, why don't you tell me what's troubling you over a cup of coffee? Unless you prefer tea."

"I like tea more-- Wait how'd you know something was troubling me?"

"You just told me."

Matt actually gave a light hearted smile, perking up.

"You know, you have a very cute smile."

Compliments always got him. 

"Really? Why thank you Daniel!"

"Please, call me Dan." 

 

And just like they, they started to talk, and get along just fine. Edd and Tom looked at eachother and gave eachother a high five. "Jackpot." They said in unison.


	7. Say no to this~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight smut? Not really,,,
> 
> Just a lot of angst.

Matt started dating Daniel only a few days after that first date. It seemed to be almost rushed, but Matt didn't care. He was happy. Daniel didn't mind his self-centeredness, claiming he could see past it. He said Matt was loving, caring, beautiful person inside and out. So flattering... Matt almost couldn't believe someone actually thought so highly of him. In the past, he's dated others who left him because of just. Himself as a person. Narcissistic, gullible, boarderline stupid. Daniel was different.

"Me and Danny are going out! See you later guys!" Matt said, Edd and Tom looking to see the two heading to the door, hands intertwined. "Ah alright. Have fun!" Edd said, smiling at the two. Even Tom had a smile on his face. Matt was back to being Matt, no more nights waking up and seeing him sprawled on the couch sobbing the night away. Heartbreaking.

Edd went back to watch television, while Tom's eyes lingered back to the two in the doorway. Daniel was as tall as Matt, if not taller. He watches as Dan pressed a kiss to Matt's forehead, Matt emitting a happy squee in response. How sweet... Daniel had very tan skin, dark brown hair and intoxicating green eyes that would make anyone melt under them. Black eyes look back at Edd as the two finally left, his smile fading away.

"So... How are you and Beatrice?" Tom asked flatly. Edd's eyes lit up.

"We're just fine! I got her a promise ring yesterday." Edd reached into his pocket to take out a promise ring that said on the inside, 'A promise is forever.' "Isn't it nice? I was going to engrave a joke inside but she probably wouldn't appreciate it hehe."

Tom stared at it, his eyebrows furrowing in anger. He didn't say anything, but simply gave Edd a look then looked back at the television. The other male frowned and put the ring away in his pocket. Though Tom wasn't looking he could feel the sad eyes staring at him. 

Edd brought a hand to rest gently on top of the other's. The blue hoodied male tenses up but didn't say a word. "What is going on with you? You haven't been the same since I started dating again." 

Tom huffed. "I don't know what you're talking about." His hand slipped out from under Edd's. 

"You're my best friend you know."

"I know."

Looking at his phone for the time, Edd gasped. "Look I have to go... We can talk later okay?"

Tom gave a hum and dismissive hand shake, still not looking at him. The brunette simply sighed and stood up from the couch, grabbing his keys then heading out the door.

Tom was alone again. 

 

 

"So where are we going? The movies? The mall? A restaurant? Arcade?" Matt said excitedly, holding onto Daniel's arm as he jumped up and down. He did release his arm from the firm grip when he took a step into the passenger car.

"Ah! I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now would I?"

"Yes, yes you would."

Daniel only laughed in response. The two buckled up and head down the road. They got onto the highway and drove for... Quite a long time. "Uh... Where are we?"

"Out of town." 

"Yes but, what town? Are we still in England?!"

Another laugh. "Silly boy. Of course we are."

Then they drove more, making small talk and listening to some tunes. Matt took a peak around the car he's been in a million times before. It was much cleaner, no questionable stains or weapon. Nothing of that sort. This was good. Daniel was a good change for Matt. 

Though Tord ran through his mind daily... Hourly. Most of the time. A voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Something's on your mind." Matt looked to see Daniel glancing at him, so he shook his head no. 

"No, no! I have nothing ok my mind!"

"Hmm. No I'm pretty sure you do. You got that look on your face."

"A look? What look? I don't have a look! It's just my face, my pretty pretty face!"

"A pretty thoughtful look on your pretty pretty face."

Matt crosses his arms, lips pouted. "Oh quiet you."

"Are you not going to tell me?"

"It's not worth the effort."

"Is it about Tord?"

Matt raised his eyebrows, looking at him. "How'd you know?"

"Boyfriend powers."

"That makes sense." Matt snorts, then sat up straighter, chewing on the side of his cheek for a moment before talking. "I just wonder where he is right now. I hope he's safe, and well."

"I'm sure he's fine, you don't need to worry. He doesn't concern you."

"Yeah..." Matt placed his hand over David's that was on the stick shift. "At least I have you."

"You'll always have me." Daniel smiles, turning his head to steal a quick kiss from Matt's.

Soon they were there... 

Were they?

Daniel had pulled over to the side of the road, then got out to stand beside a tree with a red bandana tied to it. "Here it is." Daniel whispered, Matt looking confused. "Uh... Where is here?" They were in a very woodsy area. Very woodsy. And it was almost sundown. "You'll see. Come on." Daniel walked into the forest. Matt followed.

There were many rocks and tall trees all around, but it seemed as though the rocks were leading them into the right direction. "Are we almost there? Are you leading me out to kill me? I don't want to die, this is creepy! Let's go home I don't know what we're even doing here!!-" 

"Shh." Daniel shushed, continuing to walk. Soon they reached a certain point, and they stopped. "Stay here, I'll be right back."

"O-Okay."

Matt watched Daniel walk away, leaning against a tree. He whistled a song to himself in the silence, getting startled by every little sound that was made. Stop being au on edge. It'll be fine. Daniel will be back any second.

"Dan?" Matt called out after a few minutes. No reply. Minutes go by. "Danny...?" No reply. The ginger now felt abandoned, he bites his bottom lip and started to walk in the direction David did. Probably a bad idea. 

Soon enough he reached the end of the rock trail, and was faced with somewhere more open. An area that's framed with trees, and had a small stream of water across it that disappeared into the forest. Rocks covered the area near the water decoratively. 

There were nice flowers and a bench seated between two trees on the end, where Dan was turning so it wasn't as crooked. This looked like a scene from a Disney movie and Matt loved it.

Dan turned around when hearing steps behind him. "Matt! Ah, sorry to keep you waiting. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect."

"Y-You did this? For me?"

"Yes! A buddy of mine even helped me with the flower planting and bringing the bench here in a truck. Isn't it lovely?"

Matt looked around again, a big grin on his face. "Yes!!! So lovely, thank you!" Fab was greeted gym a big hug, to which he returned. With arms around Matt's waist, he stepped back and fell backwards, bringing Matt with him. Matt was now on top of him on the ground, looking to meet Dan's gaze. They share a kiss.

One Matt rolled onto his back, Daniel told him to look up. Such a clear view of the sky... And the sunset! It was so romantic and cheesy, and Matt loved it. 

They stay there for a while, simply talking and enjoying each other's company. It was so nice, Daniel always did such sweet things for him. Always. Had Tord done such sweet things? 

Maybe.

... 

Matt can't remember.

Daniel snapped Matt out of his thoughts by rolling onto him, so they were face to face and Daniel was straddling his lips. But was sure not to crush him. "Pay attention to me, yeah? I don't like when you do that."

"Do what?"

"What you did in the car, what you do all the time. You're always thinking of him, I want you to think of me."

That was true. Matt didn't nearly think of Daniel as much as he thought of Tord. That has got to hurt. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"Don't be sorry. I know how you can make it up to me."

"How?" 

Daniel gave that charming grin he always did, and leaned down to reconnect their lips, his hands resting on the other's cheeks. Matt was unsure as to why Daniel didn't answer his question, but of course was more than happy to kiss back anyway. Kissies are a good form of payment. Until the kiss got deeper and more heated. Now this was new. Matt never exactly... Shared one of these kinds of kisses with Dan. As long as it's just a kiss it's fine.

Oh god please let this be no more than a kiss.

Dan's hands travel down Matt's body from his chest down to his hips, then started to peak under his shirt. By now the ginger's face was on fire, and he wasn't sure what to do. There's a reason why he's demisexual, this shouldn't be happening now he's not ready- This is going to fast it felt like the world was spinning so fast. His /tongue/ was pushing and sliding in ways he's couldn't keep up with. It was such an uncomfortable, anxious, bubbling feeling. Let it be over soon. Matt had no idea what to do, he didn't want this. Whatever is happening. Maybe this is just normal boyfriend stuff and not intimate-- 

Daniel's hands slide up his shirt and brush over his nipples.

Matt wanted to die. 

He doesn't want this. He won't ever want this- Not with Daniel. Not yet. He isn't even talking about this, telling him what he's going to do, it's just HAPPENING. 

 

Luckily, there was a phone buzz.

Daniel sighed as he pulled away, slipping his phone out of his back pocket to see the number. "Ah... I'm sorry darling it is my boss, I have to take this. I'll be back soon, don't get too excited." He smiled sweetly, pressing a kiss to Matt's nose before standing up and starting to walk a little ways out of the area to take his phone call. Matt didn't respond, slowly sitting up. "O-Oh god. Oh goodness no." He whispers to himself, big hands running over his flushed hands. "No no no no." Being intimate stressed him out. So badly, to the point where every kiss held a small fear that it'd go too far. Was he a virgin? No, he has had sex before right? ... With Tord. Matt wanted to cry, but instead he sucks it up and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. When Daniel gets back he'll explain, they they can go back to just talking. Just talking and maybe a few hugs. That sounded nice.

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile Tord was antsy. Very antsy. VERY unhappy.

"Why have you not been answering my calls? Do not forget, I am your boss."

"It's not like I can get a death penalty anymore for my actions, isn't that right Red Leader?"

An aggravated sigh. "Do not call me that. I need an update. How's Matt? Where is he? What are you doing with him is he happy?"

A scoff was heard. "We're fine. We were just on a date until you interrupted. In fact we were about to get it on!! He is very cute."

"Excuse me? 'Get it on'? No no, none of that. You are to have no sexual relation with him. I made that clear. I told you how he is with this."

"I didn't hear him complaining."

"Watch it. He is SHY when it comes to this, if you so much as touch him in the wrong way I will personally rip your dick off and shove it down your disgusting throat."

"Are you? How are you going to do that when you're miles away? I could've already done it with him for all you know."

"Disgusting. You were such a loyal solider. What happened to you."

"An opportunity for good sex was up for grabs so I took it. It's not my fault you make shitty decisions."

"Watch your mouth. I will come over there-"

"And do what."

"Make sure Matt does not... Be with you. Or associate with you period."

"Then you'll be happy to inform him that I'm not really interested in him romantically at all too right? And that you set this all up?"

"I just want Matt to be happy, I knew he would be so sad after I left. I do not want him to be sad-"

"So instead you bring him a relationship based on pure lies? How long will this go on for?"

"Until he breaks up with you."

"What if he doesn't?"

Tord rubbed his eyes and sighed, without a response.

"He thinks and talks about you everyday."

Tord frowns. "Does he?"

"Yeah." Daniel whispers. "Too bad I'll be fucking the image of you right out of him."

"LIKE HELL YOU WILL YOU UGLY DISGUSTING PIG-" 

Daniel hung up. Well good thing that conversation was spoken in Norwegian, so Matt didn't hear a word. 

 

When Daniel got back Matt was standing up, pacing back and forth, then jumping when hearing Dan's voice. "I'm back! I'm sorry for the wait, the boss can be a real pain." He said, walking over to wrap his arms around Matt's middle. Matt gave a nervous laugh as his hands rest on his shoulders. "It is quite alright! I'm glad you're back, I uh, wanted to say something-- What are you doing?" Daniel's head had been buried in Matt's neck, and had started kissing along his sensitive neck. No no no-

"Giving my favorite person a little sugar, nothing wrong with that." Dan hums, nipping his neck softly that sent shivers down Matt's spine.

"O-Okay-" Matt's face heated up once more, hands gripping Dan's shirt fabric. Tell him to stop, tell him to stop...

Or should he? Maybe this will be good for him... Finally get Tord out of his mind. But here? In this area? Sure they were alone but... His thoughts were interrupted by a low noise. Did that come from him or Dan? It came from him- It came from MATT. That was very weird.

"Good spot here huh?" Daniel smirks and licked along that spot, a gasp emitting from Matt. "Now what is it you want to tell me, love?"

There was hesitation.

Just let it happen Matt, it'll be good for you. 

Say no- NO. You don't want this.

 

"Nothing."


	8. Loneliness (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness   
> Angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real smut will start in Part Two, but just a fair warning there will be some. It has just as much smut as the last chapter did, maybe even less so,,
> 
> I don't want to spoil anything to read to find out more ;0

Yet again, Tom was left by himself. It has become a norm by now. 

Tom has been alone for a majority of his life... Since his dad being shot by a bear at such an early age, his mom had to work double, sometimes triple shifts to provide for them both. But after becoming roommates with Edd, Matt, and Tord he didn't ever have to fear isolation and loneliness ever again. Just knowing other people were just a room away, it was a nice secure feeling. And even as Matt and Tord were together doing their own thing, he could always count on Edd to keep him company. Things have changed so much. 

Both of his roommates were out at their significant others' homes for the night. Of course this wasn't the first time, but it was one of the sadder times. Tom sat up on his bed and rubbed his black eyes. There was music playing to fill in the silence he absolutely hated, the silence was the most dreadful. Everything about his was dreadful. On top of this Tom couldn't sleep, and the thought of drinking made his already upset stomach flip. He didn't want what happened last time to happen again. He doesn't want to wake up in a puddle of vomit and alcohol again. 

How fuck it, who would care anyway? ... Don't kid yourself Tom. Edd would. Matt would. His poor mother would, thank god she hasn't seen him at his worst. 

This was unavoidable. Tom had to get out of the house. It's better than being cooped up in an silent house. 

Tom slipped on pajama bottoms and turned off he loud music, then proceeded to slip on slippers. He walked into the kitchen to grab his wallet and keys then slipped out the door. As of right now he didn't care how bad he probably looked, he just cared about getting away from it all. Driving will get his mind off it.

Once Tom was out of the apartment he got into his car and started to drive. Nowhere in particular. Just driving. Tom played one of the CDs he burned himself and listened to his favorite songs as he drove. 

God he was so tired, but sleep was out of the question. One of the worst feelings in the world is wanting to sleep but not being able to. Tom didn't just want sleep. He craved company. He craved somebody to hold. Badly. He wanted to wake up to someone next to him and all snuggled and warm instead of alone and cold... Very bitter. 

 

Tom has been driving for over an hour and thirty minutes, and only made a stop to get hot coffee for himself. But during the time he was out it had been finished and thrown away. So the black eyed man stays out longer... Until he checks the time to see it was two forty five in the damn morning. With reluctance he started to head home.

It was a little better now. Just a little. Better than before at least. Maybe now Tom will be able to get some sleep.

To Tom's surprise, when he got home Edd was on the couch, a sleeping Ringo in his lap. Edd had been watching some random commercial trying to sell some AMAZING vacuum, but looked up when hearing the door close and lock. "Tom? I thought you were in your room..." Edd asked in a quiet tone, only his features illuminated by the television screen in the dark room.

Tom couldn't help a small smile. This night just got better. "I just went for a little joyride. ... Why are you here?" Tom said as he threw his keys onto some random table, slipping off his slippers before moving to sit next to Edd on the couch. 

"Because I am. Did you see this commercial?" Edd gave a weak chuckle and gestures to the television. The older man on the screen stated, 'STAN-VACS. IT SUCKS MORE THAN ANYTHING!' The two boys share a laugh, the sleepy Ringo hopping off of Edd and leaving in annoyance. 

"Pff... Wow. No but seriously, you usually stay with that girl until dawn what happened?"

Edd shrugs. "Nothing happened. I just felt like coming home, I've been sleeping over her place a lot."

"You know something Edd, you've always been a good liar when you're trying to lie seriously. But we both know something is up. Dude, did Beatrice confess she's a Pepsi fan or something?" Tom chuckled, but Edd wasn't laughing. "... Edd, that was a joke. She probably prefers Cola Jesus-"

"No it's not that sorry-" The green hoodied male said with a sigh, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry." 

"It's... fine." Tom said quietly, his eyebrows furrowing as he felt a feeling of sadness hit him; a sad aura. There were tears in Edd's eyes. "Edd?" He turned his body to face him, unsure of what to do. So he stretches out his arms to offer a hug. Edd graciously accepts. 

"S-Sorry-"

"Stop apologizing it's fine. I just need to know what happened, this isn't like you." Tom whispers. Edd hardly ever cried, there had to be a good reason. "Holy hamburgers in a hamster cage you're shaking."

"/You're/ shaking"

"I'm not shaking. And you still haven't explained anything to me, an explanation would be delightful."

"/You/ still haven't explained anything to me."

"You're not making any sense."

"/YOU'RE/ not making any sense."

Tom had to give a small laugh at the stupid sense of humor Edd had. God it was awful. He pulled away slightly to see Edd had no smile, and was actually starting to sob. Oh no oh no... Think Tom, what does one to do be more comforting? The only thing Tom could think to do was shush the other, and pet his hair. And after some time that actually seemed to work. Is this how babies were calmed down? Probably not don't be stupid Tom.

Once Edd was calm enough, he started to talk, though his voice sounded... Dry. "I don't got a dick." What he said was muddled by Tom's shirt. 

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

Edd lifted his head up to speak more clear. "I ain't got no DICK." His head plopped right back down to Tom's shoulder.

"Oh. Well yeah I know, you told us all in like.... Middle school. And we told you we don't care about what you have in your pants Edd. We love you anyway." The 'I love you' slipped off his tongue so easily. It gave him a weird feeling in his stomach. 

"I know you guys don't care b-but--" Edd sniffles. The sound of Edd crying was one of the saddest noises he's ever heard. "She did."

 

Oh.

 

OH.

 

OH!!!!

 

Tom physically felt his chest grow heavier. "That stupid slutty money-mooching bimbo!"

"Don't call her that."

"No, that's exactly what she is! Stop fucking defending her!"

Tom's angry shout made Edd's eyes fill up with more tears.

"Ugh, shit. I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry." Tom brought his hands up to wipe the tears off his wet cheeks. It was weird but to Tom, Edd even looked beautiful when he was crying. And at a time like this, maybe that's what Edd needed. Confidence and reassurance. "You look beautiful." Tom said nervously, his eyes darting away.

"Mm." Edd mumbled in response. "I sure don't feel like it. You should've seen her face she looked so disappointed and uncomfortable." Tom was about to retaliate, but instead let Edd go off into a ramble so he could let it all out. "And when I came home I just felt so empty... I don't have anyone to say I love you and goodnight to anymore. And I won't get any cuddles or good morning texts, or have anyone to go on dates with. I don't like not having anyone, I forgot what it felt like to be..."

"Alone." Tom finished, his voice not above a whisper. Green eyes glance up at him.

"Yeah... Exactly."

The two state at eachothers for a long time. They both had the same thing on their mind. There was something in the air; something lingering between them.

"Would it be gay if I said I wanted to kiss you really bad right now?" Edd said to break the silence, then erupted into laughter when seeing the way Tom's face light up like a Christmas tree. And Tom didn't care, because that was a happy laugh. Edd wasn't crying anymore.

"Oh my god don't mess with me like that, Gold."

"Who said I was?"

Tom was silent. Edd scooted closer. His hand brushes along Tom's cheek, then down his neck to his shoulder. Tom's heart thumped in his chest. "Edd?"

"Yes Thomas?"

"You've finally taken a joke way too far."

"It's not a joke! Just-- Here-"

Tom's eyes whiten and widen as Edd pulled him down by the shirt collar into a brief kiss, to which Tom was too surprised to respond to. The silence between them was back again. The flustered male leaned back in to reconnect their lips, Edd humming happily in response. 

The two kiss for longer now, and it didn't take long for it to get from chaste to heated. Very heated. Tongue and all. Hands travel along eachothers bodies, exploring anywhere they could touch. God, Tom has wanted this for so long-- YEARS. But he can't get this... This way. He pulled away to see his friends eyes hazel with lust now, and flushed beyond belief. 

He just caused that. And wow.

"Wow." Tom thought aloud at the sight, but then quickly shook his head. "No you-- Edd I can't do this. Not when you're desperate and vulnerable that isn't right."

"No no I'm not- This is different. Please Tom?" Edd said, gripping the other shirt. "I really need this, I need you. You make me feel good... I need someone to actually show love to me. She never made me feel the way you make me feel."

Tom swallows thickly, closing his eyes. The other male nuzzles his nose along his neck. "I can't handle having just one time with you. You'll probably be back together with her by next week."

"She wasn't good for me, you've said it countless times. Now I really see she was really a bad person. Bad to me."

"Very bad to you." Tom mumbles, opening his eyes to start kissing along the side of Edd's neck. "I could treat you better."

"So much better." Edd let out a whine at the feeling of teeth giving a bite onto his neck. "So much better Tom-"

Tom shivers at the whine, kissing up the side of his face. There was some hesitation before Tom brought his lips over to Edd's so they share another lingering kiss.

"I need you."

"Then you'll have me."


	9. Loneliness (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd and Tom fucc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW WARNING. DONT LIKE IT, THEN SKIP THE CHAPTER.

NSFW WARNING.

Tom had Edd in his bedroom, the smaller man's hands on his upper back and legs clinging around his waist. Black eyes stare down at the soft, beautiful body beneath him. His hands start from his chest, over the scars from the top surgery he had, then down past his stomach. It was all his right now, only for him. 

It seemed this all happened so fast. Edd was just crying to him about his problems, and now they've gotten this far. To Tom, right now it didn't matter if this happened fast. Edd needed this now. And so did he, he has needed this for a long time. Closeness and security.

"Tom," Edd breathed, a hand moving from his back to run through Steve; Tom's hair. 

Tom replied with a hum, his hands moving down his legs to his knees. Gently, he spread Edd's legs apart further and brought his head down to kiss over his chest. His kisses trail to his nipples, sucking and licking at each. This made Edd let out soft, quiet noises, tugging lightly at Tom's hair. 

Edd watches as the kisses were pressed further down. It seemed there was no area that went unkissed or untouched. The patience this man had... Edd was quite fond of all the gestures. He had started kissing down his leg to his foot, which made the smaller male snicker. "Hey Tom, I think we really started off... On the wrong FOOT." He grinned at the man above him, but Tom just pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. 

"Edd oh my god."

"I thought you'd get a KICK out of that one!"

"Edd."

"Come on my SOLE purpose was to TOE-tally make you laugh!"

Tom blew raspberries onto the foot he held, making Edd laugh. "Quit the puns, you clown."

"Okay! Okay I will I'm sorry!" What a lie, his puns never stop.

Tom pouts, kissing down his stomach and stopping at his boxers. He glanced up at Edd, who gave him a nod of approval. With that the boxers were slipped off and tossed onto the floor. A hesitant hand moved forward, his palm pressing against his heat. Edd bites his lip and tilts his head to the side so he didn't have to look at Tom, or himself. Tom leaned up to start kissing at his neck as his hand started to rub in slow circles. 

Edd turned his head and let out a huff of air, locking eyes with Tom before leaning in to give him a heated kiss. Soft whimpers and moans escape him when feeling  
Tom's fingers start to play with his cunt, spreading his lips apart and thumb rubbing along his clit. 

"O-Oh-- Oh fuck Tom-" Edd said, breaking the kiss to breathe. His head tilts back when feeling Tom finally insert a finger into him, his body arching upwards. Tom sucks a light mark over his throat, then continued to kiss and lick at him. 

When two fingers were finally seated inside him, Edd responded with a roll of the hips, and eyes fluttering close. He was definitely enjoying this, with the way Tom was handling him it was almost like a nice vaginal massage rather than quick stretching. The fingers slowly scissor and curl inside him in the best ways, and the feeling just made him melt, putty in Tom's hands. "More, please." Edd rocks his hips, moaning in delight when now three fingers slip inside him. They began to make a rhythm, getting faster and now harder. They were searching for that special place...

Suddenly Edd bucked his hips up and his eyes widen, a louder moan emitting from him. "TOM~! Oh god yes, right there again again again-" He begged, his face completely red. Tom's face heated up as well at the request, pressing against the spot every time he thrusts his fingers. Edd was completely entranced by this. He panted hard, speaking incoherently until he felt himself get an overwhelming amount of pleasure. Edd had came from Tom's alone. Embarrassed, he looked at Tom, flushing brightly. 

"I-I- Oh god sorry I didn't give you any warning..."

"It's fine, you enjoyed it right?"

"Yes but-"

"Then that's all that mattered." Tom smiled and pressed a kiss to Edd's temple then nuzzled the side of his face. His hand was wiped against the bed sheets. Tom lays down with Edd, and was about to call it quits for tonight since Edd had gotten his pleasure, but the smaller male had rolled himself to straddle Tom. 

"Your turn."

"H- What-"

Edd simply slipped off Tom's boxers, wrapping his hand around the member and stroking it up and down. Tom didn't make much sound besides the occasional groan or grunt, watching the way Edd's hand twists and squeezed him. So good.

Once Tom was completely erect, Edd moved his hand, making Tom huff angrily. 

"Lube and condoms?"

"Second drawer down."

Edd reached over to find the materials he needed, slipping the condom on his lover then giving him a few strokes. 

"Wait are you sure you want to go all the way?"

"I have never been more sure."

Edd coated Tom's dick up with lube, relishing in the sounds he made. "I love your noises Tom~" Edd practically purred, leaning down to bring Tom into a heated kiss. The shorter male parts his lips, letting Tom's tongue slip past them. As the kiss deepened, Edd hovered himself over his member, only the tip going inside him.

Tom broke the kiss, humming at the feeling of Edd pushing down deeper. "Mmn... Fuck Tom." He let out a shaky sigh, rolling his hips further down. "You're really b-big-- The biggest I've had."

Tom looked mad at this. "Wait what? Who else have you had!?"

"Nngh-! No no no I mean I have- T-Toys-" 

Tom flushed. Oh. Toys. "You should... Let me try them on you sometime." Edd nodded quickly at this, finally fully seated on his cock. He lifted himself up then started to slowly set a pace for himself. He bounced up and down on his dick, groaning at the feeling. 

Tom soon started to buck up when Edd would bring himself down, making him gasp. But soon Edd was tired of bouncing, and Tom surely noticed. So he flipped their positions, having Edd under him once again. They exchanged a lustful gaze, before slowly reconnecting their lips. 

Tom started to thrust back into Edd. He didn't fuck roughly, he'd thrust slowly, but powerfully. 

The daze they've created really did made it seem like they were the only two people on Earth. They were so transfixed on eachother, every buck of the hips, every moan and grunt... It was only Tom and Edd.

"Thomas, you're so good, do good..." Edd spread his legs further apart. "Take me h-harder..." So Tom did just that. His thrusts go harder and deeper, sending the other reeling

To Edd it felt as though they were on some sort of drug, their mind completely cloudy from all the pleasure. His cunt was dripping wet, and throbbing. 

"Mmn... Oh Tom- Tom Tom Tom~..." God, Edd was so talkative during sex. And moved so much. His body thrashed, his legs twitched and shook, and hands were everywhere. The way he chanted his name was enough to get Tom off. 

"My pretty pretty boy... You feel so good." Tom hummed, pressing kisses along his jaw. Edd keens at these words, encouraging him to go on with the tug of the hair. "Beautiful boy. Anyone would be lucky to have such a gorgeous boy in their life. Make more noises for me would you?" 

Edd responds with a needy moan, eyebrows furrowed. One of Tom's hands lace together with the other boy's, more kisses pressing against his earlobe. "Your body is so perfect, you're perfect." He whispers in his ear, thrusting in deeper and hitting the sweet spot inside him. Edd arches his back and legit started to drool at the feeling. "TOM~! Nn-nGH- Oh YES YES!" His hips continue to move and buck up to get more, face bright red and his forehead drenched in sweat. "Again, hit there again-- Touch me please more~" Edd breathed heavily, Tom bringing his free hand down to rub circles on his clit, his hips thrusting at that spot every time.

"O-Oh Thomas- Tom- I-I--" His leg kicks up, head leaning back. 

Tom grunts softly, bringing both of his legs over his shoulder as he now pounds into Edd. His thrusts get faster now, sending Edd off the edge. The new position let Tom drive in deeper.

"Come for me, pretty boy." Tom whispers, giving Edd soft kisses to his parted lips. Almost on cue, Edd released with a shout, his body again thrashing. 

With just a few more thrusts, Tom released as well. Tom stays seated inside of Edd for a moment, thrusts slowing down as they both calm down. When Tom pulled out, Edd whined at the loss. "What, do you want me in there forever?" Tom jokes. 

"Mmhm..." Edd said softly, then giving a dorky chuckle. Tom smiled at that and threw away the condom. "I'm all gross and messy." The smaller boy whined. "Lick it up." He teased, lifting his hips up to show his own vaginal juices running down his thighs and covering his cunt. 

Tom flushed looking at the sight, then wiggled his eyebrows.

"Tom- Tommy I didn't mean it literally."

Too late. Tom had his face buried between those deliciously thick thighs, licking up and sucking any juices left from Edd's orgasms. Edd let out a shaky moan from the feeling of his tongue, looking down to watch him lick along his inner thigh where it dripped along. Edd huffed when Tom was done, still lightly panting. "Jeepers, Tom." "Jeepers?" "Jeepers." Tom scrunched up his nose. "If you say it long enough it sounds weird." Edd laughed. "Jeepers!" "Stop it you're annoying." He teased. "YOU'RE annoying." "I just fucked you." "*I* just fucked you." Tom put his hands up to indicate he's done, simply went to the other side of the bed to lay down and sleep. "Thomas, no," Edd crawled over, straddling Tom. "Two times the charm." "Wait what you want to go again-" Edd slowly sunk himself down onto Tom, who gave a surprised moan, his eyes widened. "C-Condom??" "I'm on that birth control shit calm down-" Edd's face heated up more as he sunk down deeper. "Mmmn- B-Besides- I want to feel you come inside me-" Tom's face went red. This is going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATED THIS BECAUSE IT WASNT FUCKING DONE WHAT THE FUCK- 
> 
> I REMEMBERED FINISHING THIS I- DID IT GET CUT OFF AND I DIDNT NOTICE-- iM SORRY-


	10. Brass Knuckles are kickass and so is Tord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down between Dan and Tord
> 
> Matt and Tord have to mend their relationship and basically start over... They need time

"Daniel, it is Tord. Obviously. Pick up the phone you idiot, this is not a joke. Call back as soon a second possible."

"Hello? Daniel you realize I have stopped paying you. The deal is off. Call back soon."

"Fucking pick up the phone! I promise you, you are in for a world of trouble, I need to talk to you! Call back!"

That's just some of the many voicemails. Tord's number had been blocked from Dan's phone. This was absolutely insane! It's been over 2 weeks now and Tord had no way of contacting Daniel. That left him in his shitty apartment. Alone. His apartment seemed almost like a cliche gross apartment with rats, mold, stains, ripped wallpaper... Gross. So so gross. Anything to stay on the down low.

No. This can't keep going on Tord has to take action now. 

And so he did.

Tord packed up his belongings and angrily got on a plane to England within a few days or arranging the flight. The flight had him tense. This was really happening. He's going to give that punkass a piece of his mind. He legit had his brass knuckles in his pocket for this occasion, because beating the shit out of him with his bare hands wouldn't nearly be as satisfying. 

Tord hailed a cab to where Daniel lived, and all he could think about is if Matt was there. God he hoped not. That'd be... Very bad. Tord would continue to kick the guy's ass despite this. Messing with the former leader of a massive army is really not the best decision. If they were still in the Red Army, Daniel would've been killed for not following orders. 

As he walked up to the door, he kept a hand in his pockets, fumbling with the brass knuckles. Without hesitation he slammed the door open. Leaving the door unlocked? Very very bad idea. It's like he KNEW.

Daniel was on the couch, turning his head when hearing the sound of the door open. He had such a smug grin. "Well hello there, Tord. Took you a while to come huh?"

"You would not answer my calls. You are piece of garbage you know that? Garbage." Tord took the brass knuckles out and put them on his hands. "I want to know what you think I am going to do to you." He stepped forward to Daniel, taking him by the collar of his shirt. "Because I want to do something WORSE." There was danger and venom in his voice, anger bubbling in his stomach. But Daniel didn't seem affected at all, the guy even laughed. "What is so funny? Wipe that stupid smirk off your face, solider."

"You."

"Me?!"

"Yeah you. It's funny you think you can beat me up shortie. You're not a tough leader anymore, you're nothing." He spat, Tord's teeth clenched. "Go home."

The grip on Dan's shirt got tighter. "No. I am giving you one more chance. Leave Matt alone, or you will get a taste of what true pain really feels like. You have seen what I can do."

"Bite me." 

The first punch was thrown, by Tord of course. Right across the face. But before he could do more damage his wrist was grabbed and he was pushed roughly onto the ground. Daniel got on top of him. Tord was then roughly beaten by Daniel, and that of course didn't feel good on the side of his face that had been scarred. Tord pushed Daniel roughly off him, and the two practically have a wrestling match as punches and kicks were thrown.

At some point Tord had Daniel down on his back, where he ruthlessly began to punch at his face, causing more damage than ever before. There was indeed blood, and he's pretty sure Daniel's mouth was full of blood by now. Such brutal and animalistic behavior they had. Tord spit in his face, Daniel clawed at his skin... They had such good fighting skills from training in The Red Army, but right now they were almost ready to kill one another.

The fight continued until Tord realized the door had been opened, and there stood a horrified Matt, eyes widened. There were grocery bags dropped on the floor. 

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?!" 

Daniel could only give Tord a shit eating grin. Though he tried to play it off cool, it physically hurt Dan to smile. He had to swallow blood to speak. "Yes Tord, what is going on?"

Tord was frozen, not knowing what to do. He looked down at his hands to see that they had traces of blood, and so did his clothes. And he's sure he had a black eye. Tord finally got off Dan, taking the brass knuckles off and wiping his own blood away from his nose while Matt dropped down to coo at Dan. That made his blood absolutely BOIL. 

"You come back after all this time and THIS is what you do?! What's wrong with you!" There were tears in Matt's eyes.

"You do not understand, Dan is NOT who you think he is he is- is- Terrible, fuck!" Tord couldn't explain, it was too hard. Words couldn't process. There was a lot to explain.

"Aren't you going to tell him about the fact that you practically paid me to be here?" Daniel gasped. "Oops, the truth is out." What a dick. Matt looked at Tord with confused, sad puppy-that-was-just-kicked eyes. "W-Why would you do that? This was all fake? You don't actually..." Daniel cleared his throat. "No, the sex was as real as it gets babe." 

Matt looked disgusted, dropping Daniel's head that he had been holding up for support. "Ow." Dan said when his head hit the ground, hissing in pain. 

Matt stood up and stepped back. "Why?! Why couldn't you just leave me alone!"

"Because I knew you would be heartbroken after I left, I wanted someone to be there for you. I just did not think he'd try and sleep with you that was- I told him not to I am so sorry-"

"I didn't need some random guy, I needed you! I still need you. And you weren't there, you're never there when I need you the most!"

"Well I am sorry Matt I cannot let you get mixed up in this! And after he told me what he did I could not just let this continue to happen, I know how you are."

"You don't know me at all anymore, I don't understand what your problem is! Me, Edd, and Tom have done bad things we aren't proud of! I was the leader of a zombie army years ago, do you remember that?"

"Yes I do but this is different-" 

"You and Edd destroyed the house and eachother for a piece of bacon."

"That is just a house."

"Tom threatened to end Christmas, and broke into people's homes to burn their Christmas trees. We've caused the end of the world because of one stupid movie about space cats! We destroyed an entire army base with a tank when we were in the army! We almost died from a tsunami because of the climate change we caused! We upset an entire society of fish 25 feet under the sea- Do I even need to go on?!"

Tord shook his head no, and gave a silent sigh. 

"You think that what you did was so horrendous, when you know damn well all of us have killed someone AT LEAST once. And you think the police will find and kill you, I fucking doubt it! They don't care! We blew up an arcade and Edd and Eduardo destroyed some of the town with their super powers and they didn't do shit! You're just paranoid and obviously guilty!"

"Of course I am guilty... How many times do I have to say sorry?"

"I don't know. You even got Daniel involved, maybe you should say sorry to him."

"He took advantage of you!."

"You're acting like he raped me, I never said no. For a minute, just a minute, I thought maybe I could get the thought of you out of my head. To move on. But the entire time I just wished it was you instead. I only want you and I-I hated it." 

The two were silent. Matt wiped away his own tears. "I wish things were different."

Tord rubbed his swollen eye, it stinging when feeling tears well up in it. "M-Me too."

"I wish you didn't erase my memory. I-I wish I was still with you and everything was okay-- I hate this. I want to pretend everything didn't happen but we can't do that." 

Tord gave a shaky sigh and looked down to see Daniel passed out on the floor. He watches to see a tear fall onto the floor.

"I bet you think everything would go back to normal after this too, because I'm so brainless and gullible, and I-I'll just go along with everything in your stupid game r-right?"

Tord looked up to see Matt now crying harder, hands over his mouth and eyes squeezed shut. "No no no, I do not think that if you at all! You of all people should know I'm not like that, I would not have been with you if I thought you were a moron." Tord brought a hand forward to ever so gently take Matt's hand off his mouth to hold, but Matt was quick to take his hand away. 

Tord frowned, and decided to keep his own distance. "I will leave again, if you want."

"No!"

"Then what do you want from me, Matt?"

"Just... Be here. With me. I don't want you to leave again, I c-can't take that."

"Then I will stay. For as long as you want, I mean it this time. And I will give you any space you need."

Matt nodded, and glanced at Dan before simply walking to the door, leaving the groceries on the ground. He didn't move for a moment, as if he was thinking something over. Without looking at Tord he offered one hand out, which Tord immediately held with his non-robotic hand. 

"Let's go get you cleaned up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry they'll work things out. You can't expect them to be fine after all that. 
> 
>  
> 
> BUT HELL YES TORD YOU KICK DANIELS FUCKING A S S


	11. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patching things up and moving on isn't easy, but they're trying

"-But she messaged me this morning, she wants to work it out." Edd said. Tom was sick of this.

"Lame. I thought we were past this. Block her."

"I thought so too, and I will block her. I just want t-"

The door opened. Matt walked with a blank expression, and following behind him was none other than Tord. A beaten up Tord. One of his eyes were shut now due to the black eye.

Tom automatically stood up. "HOLY HAMSTER IN THE HAMPTONS-" he stared for a moment before his expression twisted into pure hatred and anger. "Oh FUCK no! What is this piece of garbage doing in our house?! GET OUT."

"Tom!" Edd said, taking his arm and urging him to sit back down. He could tell by Matt's look and Tord's appearance that nows not the time for this. "Calm down."

Tom looked at Edd with wide white eyes. "YOU'RE GOING TO LET- LET- THIS COMMUNIST BASTARD IN OUR HOUSE?!"

Edd looked away, Tom watching to see Matt and Tord go upstairs without a word. Tord refused any eye contact and kept his head down. When they were gone they were only left with silence. Edd and Tom exchanged looks.

"Let them sort things out, Thomas."

"... I'll be listening, one slip up and it's done." Tom huffs, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. "I don't want him hurting Matt anymore than he already has."

Edd smiled. "That's very kind of you. But right now you have to let them figure this out for themselves... Give them time. ... Now let's go make nachos." 

"But we just had-"

"Yay! Nachos!" Edd happily walked into the kitchen with his arms in the air.

Tom blinked. It's like Edd's pretending that what just happened... didn't happen. If this is his way of distracting Tom... Then it's working. Nachos sound great right now. He follows the smaller male into the kitchen. "Fine. But we're not done with the conversation we weee having earlier."

"I know."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt guided Tord up to his attic, then went into his drawers to find a first aid kit. An uncomfortable silence. Tord didn't like it.

"Sit down." Matt gestures to the bed, which Tord slowly sat down upon. He looked over the smaller Norwegian female in front of him, shaking his head. "I can not believe you did that."

"I can not believe I didn't do more damage while I had the chance." Tord mutters, earning a glare from Matt. 

"I'll be right back." Matt turns to leave, leaving Tord in the room by himself. He looked around. Messy. But not as messy as he expected. Tord looked to see a guitar sitting on top of a pile of... Clothes? And pizza boxes? And... Something sparkley. Who knows. Tord wishes Matt would play for him sometime again. 

There were many pictures of himself. Some of his friends and family... Only one of Tord. The one picture that included Tord was small and looked as if it could fit in a wallet. It was both Matt and Tord, smiling with some poorly painted face paint on their cheek; Matt having a skull on fire and Tord having a butterfly. He remembered that day, it was for Matt's little cousin's school fundraising event. They look especially goofy in that picture. Tord wonders if Matt remembers that day. 

Matt soon returned with a pot with warm water and a rag. Oh. Right. The pot was set on his nightstand. "Can you take your hoodie off?" 

Tord nodded and took off his hoodie, so he was only wearing a white muscle shirt now. Matt took his hands to exam them. The brass knuckles. Why did he have to be so violent?

There were some bruises on his arms, his face, his hands... Scratches on his neck. Faint scratches. Matt took the rag and squeezed most of the water out, then cleaned up any scratches, marks, blood etc... He was more gentle than anything. 

"I'm going to press this against your eye, it may hurt a bit." Matt warned, a strange look coming from Tord. 

"Wouldn't cold water be more sufficient? Or an ice pack?"

"No. Warm water works better. I would know, I've had one before."

YIKES. Yikesyikesyikes. Tord stays silent and let Matt press the rag against his swelling, black eye. In the silence, Matt spoke up. "... That's quite the shiner he gave you, huh?" 

Tord sighed. "Yep. That is what I get."

"For sure." 

When Matt finished with the eye, he cleaned up and patched up any wounds found, then closed the first aid kit . "Okay, genius. What now."

Tord was taken aback from these words. He couldn't tell if Matt was angry, upset, serious, or joking. Or maybe Tord just can't read him like a book anymore.

"I- Uh..."

"Is there anything you want to say?" Matt said, leaving Tord not knowing what to say.

"... That... I am sorry? And thank you for eh... Patching me up?"

Matt scoffs angrily, getting up to put the first aid kit away.

"What? Isn't that what you wanted to hear?"

"No."

"Then what do you want to hear?" 

"I don't know!" Matt rubs his face and sat down on the bed next to Tord. "Don't leave me again."

"I already said I would not leave."

Matt sighed. "It's hard to believe you won't." He glances at Tord, frowning. Slowly, he leans over to Tord so his head was resting on his shoulder. 

With some hesitation, Tord brings a hand up to gently run through Matt's hair. They were both silent. 

"This is too much... We aren't getting any younger, Tord. I'm already out of college and I have a full time job- We aren't kids anymore." Matt said softly, eyes fluttering shut. "I'm at a point where I just want to be settled and happy. As if the stresses of everyday life were enough, you had to come back around and just-" He shook his head.

Tord listened, giving a silent nod. "I know... I know. I know I should've stayed the first time I left years ago. And the second time I shouldn't have left you again. And I shouldn't have gotten that bastard involved, but I do NOT regret beating that bastard to the ground." 

Tord got a hold of both of Matt's hands. Matt lifted his head up from his shoulder so he could face Tord. He was going to pull his hands away but... He didn't. He let Tord hold them, looking into Tord's eyes.

"I am going to make things right with you, even if it takes the rest of my life. You were my highschool sweetheart, my lover, my best friend and the best boyfriend I have ever had... And." Tord sighed. "Future fiancé." 

Matt gave a smile... It was more of a weak smile, followed by a saddened chuckle. "We had something so special Tord, so much time and energy put into a committed relationship that lasted for so many years and you just- You ruined it." 

Tord felt his chest getting heavier at those words. "And now I want to fix it... I want to say we should pick up where we left off but... Let's start over. I will tell you anything you cannot remember or want to know, no lies, and I will not leave unless you want me too. How does that sound?"

Matt's smile grew into a more genuine one. Wiping away a tear from his eye. "T- That sounds perfect, Tord." Matt couldn't hold in these emotions anymore, his arms swing around Tord's waist and he literally knocked him onto his back. 

Tord let out a surprised yelp but let his arms wrap around Matt as well. He gave a laugh, an honest to goodness laugh... Right here, right now, he could really say he was happy. With a overgrown cuddle-monster above him, pressing against his sore body and bruises. Tord turns his head to press many kisses against the side of Matt's face. 

And after this... They spent the night just talking. Tom would come in many times to check on them, but would find them in a different position everytime. Matt's head in Tord's lap, then them laying side by side, then oddly enough, Matt with his back on the floor and his legs on the bed and Tord painting his toenails. So weird. Tom would check in like an overprotective mother, and Edd telling him to leave them alone like the cool dad he was. 

 

Right now, they were on their backs again.

"What's my favorite food?"

"Chocolate chip cookies. You sugar addict."

"Yep! And yours is that weird Norwegian potato lefsa."

"Hey, you remember that? Your memory is getting better and better, min kjærlighet."

Matt's face heated a little bit, a smile on his lips. "I guess so..." He could recognize what that means, and it just made him all happy inside. "Um... Who's the most important person in the world to me?"

"Yourself. You and your beautiful face."

Matt laughed. "Wow, first one wrong!"

"Am I REALLY wrong, though?" Tord jokes with a slight smile, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Because you're the most important person in the world to me. ... I'm miserable without you, you know. You mean a lot to me."

Tord turns to peck a kiss onto his cheek. "How sweet... And a coincidence. You are the most important person in the world to me as well. I am convinced you are the love of my life, even if you do not feel the same."

Matt flushes again, rolling so he was closer to Tord on the bed. "How could I not feel the same? After all we've been through in the past?" He said in a more quiet tone, on his stomach with his head facing the other.

"Because of way I did-"

"I... Want to forget about that. I really do. We can move on and... Start over, like you said. It's going to be hard but after a while maybe..."

"We can try." Tord said softly, a hand gently caressing Matt's cheek. Matt placed a hand on top of Tord's that was on his cheek, simply staring back at Tord. They did this for a few moments, just staring and silently admiring eachother. Tord found it crazy. His face and body was covered in bruises and scars, while Matt was... Well. Perfect, flawless. Matt saw things much differently though...

Slowly, they both started to lean in closer until their lips connected. It honestly felt like their first kiss all over again, so sweet and chaste... The minute Matt pulled away, Tord was in for another. It was like it was all gone, their problems, Daniel; the world was gone besides just them too. They hadn't noticed the sound of rain filling the room from outside... Or how late it had became. They simply focused on eachother for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while!!! But I'm bACK BABY!!


	12. UPDATE:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha oh man

Hey so I know this story really was forgotten and scrapped but... Seeing all the kind comments on here is making me reconsider finally finishing this fanfiction.

If you want me to continue this, please!! Comment and tell me! Because if people want more of this story I will GLADLY bring this back! Thank all of you for your kind comments <3

\- Bellsa Bean


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